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Young Adulthood and Overcoming the First Encounters of its Disappointments

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Aug 9 14 4:15 PM

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        I can’t replace one man with another.  I just keep on collecting more and more thoughts contributing to an argument for lesbian conversion.  Between Michael, Steve, John, Ben and really any other synonymous dicks- in my idealistic eyes of course.  I just see ideas, talk to ideas, and hallucinate as I’m interacting.  I get insecure when the idea improvises and does not treat me the same.  Then I feel inadequate.  People are people.  They’re unpredictable particles and they need to be valued/trusted in that respect.               
        I am interested in living, but being a grown-up means trying to survive in a huge obstacle course that requires you to pay a sum of dollars at each obstacle.  Maybe every once in a while the obstacle course executives will let you hop in a potato sack and race other individuals in potato sacks out in a fresh field, but not nearly enough.  So to make up for the fun you’re missing out on in traditional obstacle courses, you are allowed to take breaks in between obstacles to get a drink, but not the traditional obstacle course drinks that you get out of the coolers with clear plastic cups.  These drinks are alcoholic drinks, and you have to buy them.  Welcome to adulthood and all of its shittiness, now have a drink to hopefully distract you enough from all of the resulting awful feelings you encounter once entering the depths of adulthood and its shittiness.                 
       So the difference between childhood and adulthood is money.  Adults are expected to pay for everything.  Money haunts you all the livelong day.  Even if you’re not spending it, you’re designated to an area where you make money.  And typically you, the adult, don’t particularly enjoy the things you have to do to earn this money.  “Don’t particularly enjoy” is an oozing euphemism in the attempt to describe the average employee mindset.  Just crazy polite, any more polite, and it would be the sarcastic opposite.                 
      The money I make should provide the relief of making ends meet financially while hopefully there’s enough left over to enjoy the grown up self outside of work.  But often the grown up self becomes so bitter or sad from the work experience that it drowns their energy and passion to do the enjoyable things that once made the self happy.  So the key is to not let work overcome you- to not let its unfair activities consume you, to not let the impossible assholes you have to take endless orders from break your spirit.  Know that this job is a means to an end before you find something better, and also know it’s something to bide your time, so use that time wisely.  Don’t use all that time at the shit job being pouty and letting that miserable feeling of broken dreams pour into you.  Don’t let dreams be broken.  And if they are, doctor them, put a cast on them, inject a ton of calcium into them.  You gotta water those dreams like a goddamned ficus.  Let them breathe in the sunlight.  If you have a specific dream and it continues to not materialize, think of different roads that could reach the dream.  And there is no limit to creativity in developing a different route.  The dream won’t mind, it is after all, a dream.  The very nature of a dream is to be open to all of the possibilities of this existence due to the certainty of one’s will to be happy.               
     So, if plan A doesn’t make the dream come true, start on plan B.  And if that doesn’t work, move on to plan C.  And so on and so forth.  And if you get down the line to plan Z, and that doesn’t work either, start on plan.  That’s right, start down a plan series of shapes.  Or colors, or whatever.  It is crucial to keep the dream breathing.
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