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May 6 14 10:55 PM

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To make this forum more accessible to new users, we (I) have prepared a list of Facetiously Answered Questions. Before posting, please check whether your question is covered in the FAQ.

Q: Where is the FAQ?
A: Pick a letter near the beginning or middle of the above sentence and, with your face very close to the screen, stare at the center of the letter while slowly increasing your face's distance from the screen. It is important that you not blink during this step. If you blink, you will need to start over. Once your face has reached a distance where the entire sentence is visible and roughly centered in your vision, scan your eyes to the left along the sentence until you encounter a capital letter. Then read the page from left to right, top to bottom as normal. Congratulations! You have found the FAQ.

Q: That didn't work.
A: Please phrase your question in the form of a question.

Q: That didn't work?
A: You need to open your eyes before starting, and keep them open throughout.

Q: There's nobody here.
A: I know that must be a question but I can't get over how declarative it looks.

Q: Where is everybody?
A: They're around. They had to go run some errands around the internet but they'll be back. If you're very good, maybe they'll bring you back some cat gifs.

Q: Does Allie ever post?
A: While past performance does not necessarily predict future results, she has before.

Q: "Hyperbole and a Half" is too typey for my frail fingers. May I abbreviate it HH?
A: TL;DR

Q: When is the new HH post going up?
A: When it's ready.

Q: How would you know?
A: I don't; that was a truism. Seriously?

Q: ...
A: Shift-slash.

Q: ?
A: You got it.

Q: I'm new here, and scared. What should I post about?
A: In some places, weather and sports work well. Others prefer attempting to make playful observations about other people or their clothing or hair. HH fanaticism would be an obvious choice - too obvious even - so maybe you should choose something zany and fun that you like to talk about.

Q: Like a fake FAQ?
A: If you want to, although I believe we have that covered.

Q: Spaghatta Nadle?
A: YAHS!!!